When I go, I will take everything with me. I will take my soul, my thoughts, my
energy. I will leave only my body.
I have nothing but my soul, my thoughts and my energy. I do not collect treasures that the storms and winds will destroy. I do not collect money that will spoil me. I will take my memories, they will warm me in the cold of the endless cosmic night.
I have nothing but myself. I do not belong to you. And you do not belong to me. The phrase "You are mine" is an illusion, an expression of weakness, a lack of confidence. Nobody belongs to anyone. No one is anyone’s slave. We are voluntarily and briefly present in someone else's life. Only as guests. We are not masters of the others, but guests in their lives.
I was a small naked dot. An absolute mistress of the starry sky.
Do you remember the spring of 2121284 light year? When we met, our love rose to heaven as a young star. You, our love and I. We had the ability to fly. And we flew freely everywhere. It was enough and adequate as a start, middle, and end. You wanted me to be a mistress of your body. You did not mind me to obsess your soul. Your heart was rejoicing because I was his mistress. The same thing was happening to me. You were the master of my body. My stupid heart forgot its pride because of you. And my soul, born to be free and not to belong to anything material, was willing to sign a surrender agreement and declare itself a proud and happy slave to you.
Happiness is stupid. Moments of happiness dazzle and make us forget about ourselves. When we are happy we forget to look for meaning. Because we live in the short moments of the meaning. Then our pride does not matter. And our dignity is a voluntary slave that gravity locks in the prison of the other.
So we lived in the meaning. But the others around us started to give advices
and to express their opinions. They did not approve of our ideal love, because theirs
was no longer ideal one. They wanted to destroy the spirit of our love, which
bothered them with being free and unwilling to obey any laws and norms of
society. They did not want us to be so free and happy. And they figured out how
to destroy our love. We were told they would separate us from this society if
we were not like them. We cannot just fly naked and happy, like newborns. We
needed to get dressed, to build our house, and to fill it with things, objects,
with children. They said this would bring us a stable and lasting happiness.
We wanted to be accepted by the rest, and we decided to follow the example of everyone around us to gather objects with which our happiness could live under the laws of the majority called society. We wanted a stable happiness and a stable love. Our love did not need objects, but they said it was important to be like them. We did not want to be different, we wanted to be accepted by the majority. And we gradually surrounded ourselves with amazingly many household objects. You started collecting cars and coins. With them you felt important and secure. I was collecting kitchen coziness, I began to adore to preserve food for the winter that aged in the jars because it was too much. We gathered a lot of coziness that we bought with money.
Gradually, however, the objects of our household became so many that they filled our greedy souls, and our home was already overflowing with coziness. And we did not stop asking for more and more. The paths and corridors between the rooms were filled with objects that each of us was buying on our way home. So we were both separated into different parts of our house. Isolated with our objects, we lost the way to each other.
We have not been flying for long. With every object, our ability to fly was
reduced. We were heavy and huge. Our stomachs were full of old food from our
cans and jars. Our clothes were covered with dust that fell from the cozy
objects around us. Our home looked like a tomb in which our dreams were stored
in alphabetical order in the cupboards. Our dreams were sitting there waiting
for their turn to come. But before that you had to watch all the sport shows
and I had to try all the international culinary recipes. This was filling the
enormous pauses between us.
And you and I and our love have already looked like everybody else. Scientists say that the man is the most intelligent animal on planet Earth. We were not a good example of this if we got into the trap.
But during the nights I kept dreaming that I was flying. Every evening, before I fell asleep, I opened the cupboard in which my dreams were stored. I took a few of them and went to sleep. I fell asleep and then I flew free and away. I was flying, but you were not with me. After every night full of dreams in which I was flying, I was looking for to find a way to escape from our overflowing with unnecessary objects household. It was 2121294 light year. The year I started flying again.
I left and I left my body too. No one did not need my old body. Together with it I left all my scars and wounds that I received throughout my short human life. I left the wrinkles on my face. Each of these wrinkles was born in pain. Pain about you. Pain about Him. Pain to understand the traps of the life. I left my barren already womb. I would not need it in the cosmic infinity. For what was to be born on Earth, it was born. Whatever could not have been born would certainly be born in another way. I have left my barren womb, which gave birth to Him. And then He showed us the way to the eternal life of spirit and soul. He showed us the meaning. My barren womb that gave birth to you. You who showed me the joy and the pain of love.
Now I am again a small naked dot in the huge sky. I have no clothes, I have no canned old food around me. I do not have cozy old slippers, which flip-flop sound tells you that I am coming to you. I have nothing that can make me an anyone’s slave.
Now I am just a small naked dot. An absolute mistress of the starry sky.
(Elena S. Lyubenova)
https://www.facebook.com/CoolDialogue/
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