Tuesday, 14 March 2017

I AM YOU, YOU ARE ME





I am the Big Bang, the beginning of everything in the universe. You are a cloud of dust that seeks the form in which could be born.
I shake everything and break it in pieces; you gather everything and give it a form.
I am the star that was born after the Big Bang. You are the life, seeking for its home.
I am the bacterium that is born in the water. You are the water, the life itself.
I am the light and the warmth, without which you cannot live. You are the life, the reason I am here.
I am the evolution. You are the multiplication and love.
I am the planet on which life is overflowing with forms, imagination and beauty.
You are the one who created this beauty.
I am the Creator who made a man from the clay and then from his own rib made for him a company.
You are the serpent that tempted Eve with the apple. I am Adam, who needed Eve in order not to experience the pain of the creation on his own.
I am Cain and Abel, I am the betrayal. You are the faithfulness.
I am the fear of the separation. You are the courage, the challenge that there is always next time.
I am the pain, the suffering. You are the caress, the tenderness, the mercy.
I am the one from whom you did not want to leave. You are the one who let me leave because you were afraid.
I am the one who was ready to take off her chains to be with you. You are the one who did not want to take off his own chains for me.
I am the one who was ready to fly even shackled. You were the slave who did not want to be free for me.
I am the one who left to set you free. You are the one who suffered in silence and in secret.
I was the end of myself. He was the beginning. He turned water into wine. He could walk on water. He was everything when we do not have anything else   left. He was the caress, the kindness, the mercy. He was with me when you refused. He was the promise. He is the gravity.
I am the man who sits opposite you, sips his coffee, and wistfully is observing the woman sitting against him. I am the woman who is sitting opposite the man with the coffee and who is not taking her eyes off him, trying to hypnotize him forever.
I am the one who the waves relentlessly draw to you. You are the honey, you are the forbidden fruit.
I listen to you how you confess and I feel that this role does not suit me. I feel my profession false because puts barriers between us. But for the waves there are no obstructions and barriers because they bring us together.
You are the one who trusts my profession and reveals her past to me. You are the one that tells me about the experience of your heart and seeks advice on how to cope.
You are the one who believes me. I am the one who is afraid of his own weakness when you are next to me.
I am the one whose duty is to teach you how to be strong, to show you the way. But in your presence I am the one who is weak, small, wrong; I am the one who found his new god in you. You are the one who is strong, seductive; you are the energy, which I need to believe in my god, the doctrine that I preach to others.
I am the fall. You are the lifting. I am the sin. You are the forgiveness.
I am the one who runs away from you, who is hiding from you, who tries to conclude the waves in a prison. You are the one who gently breaks the chains and free me.
I am the one who obediently follows you. You are the one who raises me, puts me on a pedestal.
He is the Creator who has a plan for us. Plan for love, suffering and for a repentance. Plan, in which we are all one at the same time at the same place but with different roles. I am you. You are me. He is us. We are him. He is love. We are the suffering that has to lift us, to change us, to teach us to understand love. The love of our body and the love of our heart.
I am weak, so I loved you with my body. You had suffered, so you loved me with your body. He wanted us to go through this - to learn how to touch, to love then with our souls.
I am the child who will be born in sin. You are the woman who will give birth to me in sin. I am the child who will not see you because you will have to pay your debt for loving with your body.
I am the priest who yesterday buried his beloved and now he does not know whether he is the right person to teach others to believe in god. You are me, the beloved of the priest who died from love because he is love.
I am the child who seeks answers, who is furious and angry because he took my mother. I am not  love; I am a sin, an anger, a pain, and suffering. I am looking for love and I am not finding it. I am broken into pieces. I am doomed. But I am alive. I carry life in myself and he obliges me to continue it. And he has a plan for that.
Then he sends me you. You sit apposite me, sipping coffee and trying to catch your hair in your hands,  not to allow it to fly away by the power of the wind. The wind speeds the waves. And we fly on them focused on the creation of the world.

And the suffering is sweet and short because he has a plan for you. You are taking away the life that I sowed in you in another direction, and I will never see you. I  will never see myself, born of you.
I am here but mentally I am with you. I want to touch your body, but I cannot find it. So I love you with my heart. It knows your coordinates, it knows how to find you. It finds you and locks you in its small chamber. And you stay there forever. I gather in myself both the suffering and the love. And I cannot separate them from one another because they make me harmonious.
I am the life. You are the death. I am the beginning after the end. I am a cloud of dust, looking for the form in which could be born again.

(Елена C Любенова/Elena S Lyubenova)


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