STORMS IN LIFE

The seagulls circle hungry over the city. The birds sound anxiously in the forest. The trees are bare and defenseless in their grief of the summer. The clouds are low and black. You are alone behind the wall. You are full of anticipation for our meeting. And I fight the overhanging clouds.

Betrayal. A knife in the back of humanity. A slap in the face of divine reflection. It does not matter to you that I am also a divine reflection. That I feel the pain of humiliating me, of your attempt to put me on my knees. You are trying to break me by offering me, instead of compassion, an ice wall to hide behind so that the blows sent to me do not hit you. You stand hidden behind a wall and swallow your own humiliation and cowardice. You are so afraid to show up on my side, lest you be hurt. The darkness covered your body, which convulsed under the shock of your conscience. You want, you really want so much to go through the wall that divides us, to roll up your sleeves, and to give justice. You want to help me so much to deal with the looming black clouds above me that you are not doing anything, you are numb.

Across the wall, I meet the blows of fate with my eyes open. Today the world has decided to prove that it no longer believes in its god, and so it hits me. Through me, the world seeks to humiliate my God, to challenge him to save me at a time when the whole world is against me. The world is annoyed by the light of God I reflect. Others want to extinguish the light in me, to sink in pain, to question how strong his love for me is to save me.

You are on the other side of the wall and you are still sunk in your own spiritual darkness. You don't see a god in me to break the wall and to want to save me. Because if you can see a god in me, it will remind you that he is also in you, that we are part of one light. You only see my body, because you only know it, my soul and my heart remain unknown for you for now. Because you don't want to get to know them, fascinated by the waves of the flesh. Therefore, the wall does not move in front of you. Until you know what it is to love through your heart.

I seek silence to escape from the world. I seek silence to hear myself better. I seek silence to find the answers within my heart. The silence that will hide me from the beats of the world. I sink into the embrace of silence.

The first blow and the pain echo in the heart of humanity. The first blow to my soul and the soul of all mankind sinks in sorrow. You hit me, but it hurts you too. You hit me to escape your fears and insecurities. But then it hurts you even more. And I'm scared and full of doubt.

The purpose of the second blow is to make me weak, to weaken my heart, to extinguish the light in me. It is the light in me that irritates you. The tenderness in me is what makes you feel lonely. It is the generosity in me that makes you feel poor. That's why you're revenging that I have what you dream for, but you don't have the courage to fight for it.

The third blow is aimed at taking my strength, nailing me to the cross alive. To be an example of how light should not be diffused where darkness is a voluntary choice. To be the victim who will redeem your mistakes. And I grieved for you and your spiritual blindness.

After your every blow, I am growing stronger. Anger and pain fight as the two sides of defeat and victory, revenge and generous forgiveness, oblivion and memory. I strengthen and learn to fight for myself. I am learning to lose my shape, to blend in with the darkness and the light, to go through the cracks in your heart and conquer it. I am learning to be generous and noble. Despair breeds determination and courage. And I'm getting bigger than I was. And I am a reflection of the sacrifice of the cross. I have compassion and forgiveness, and it is the mercy that makes tomorrow's faith bearable.

On the other side of the wall you gather strength, the wall cracks and the sun chases away the darkness, the wind dries your tears, your hands break the wall between us. Your heart rejoices at the victory over you. Your eyes, blinded by the light, seek me. I am in front of you, and the rainbow crosses the dark clouds to drive away the darkness of yesterday and connect us to the new day.

That's how human life goes - blow after blow, storm after storm. Because you have to die for one life, for one condition, for you to be born for another, which you will need. Because you cannot be today as you were yesterday. Today you need to be different. Big and daring to keep up with the new battles ahead. To have the courage to join them and win. To defeat yourself today to be worthy of tomorrow's new image. Because tomorrow is going to need another person of you, new and different from you today. Because the battles that are to come tomorrow are in your present image. Every day is a struggle over ourselves. Every day is a victory over ourselves. And we have only one possible choice - to choose to feel alive, to feel life all the time, not as a given for ages, but as a very short and invaluable experience, whatever it may be. Today.

I seek silence to escape from the world. I seek silence to hear myself better. I seek silence to find the answers within my heart. The silence that will hide me from the beats of the world. I sink into the embrace of silence.

The rainbow as a heavenly bridge rises in the morning sky. I am at one end. And you stand on the other. The sun is about to flood the dreamy sky with light. The sky is tired of the long storms. The sky is full of rain tears and thunder. It craves peace and love. Therefore, the sun first spills red paint on the sky. The red paint merges with the blue sky and gives birth to the rainbow. But the love red is so great that it covers the sky and the two of us with its heavenly red cover as a promise of rest between the storms. A time during which I will love you and you will discover your light reflected in me. A time during which we will sink into ourselves to forget.

The sky is pink with promises. Heaven is about to give birth to the new tomorrow. Tomorrow, when it all starts again.

And we are waiting for the starry sky to open up and for God to be born in us through his love for us.

The sky is full of tender promises.

(Elena S. Lyubenova)